Gifts from Spirit and the
    Responsibilitiesof Healing
    By: Dr. E.R. Howard, Ph.D.
  Sprit Name: Walkaton

I had raised a family, and thought that I had “done it all”, when my life took a different path in 1984. My 32 years of marriage had just ended, and I was left with an empty feeling of wondering what’s next? Who was I anyway, and what was my life’s path? I had been looking for answers, answers to these questions, and many more.

I remembered a time back in 1969. I just wanted out of my miserable life, so I drove my Volkswagen Beetle headlong into a mountain at 90 mph. Suddenly, I was standing in the midst of a brilliant white light surrounded by spirit. I remember that the impression was that I was in the presence of God. I don’t know how I knew that, but I just knew. I was told that my job was not finished yet, and that I would have to stay until it was done. I was told to continue as a teacher and healer, and that I was to work for the benefit of others. I was also scolded for the inappropriateness of the method that I had chosen to end my life. I was then given a choice to go back crippled or whole, but in either case, I was going back.

Along with the gifts I received from Spirit then, I also received the answers I was looking for; or so I thought. Alas, here I was again, 13 years later, wondering why my life was a complete mess. During the following years, I was led by Spirit on a journey of discovery with some wonderful adventures to some special places. I found myself being drawn to many different Native American cultures and healing techniques. Several of the Shamans I encountered recognized my healing and seeing abilities, which led to an exchange of information, and the development of a mutual trust and respect. My walk on a spirit mountain was the beginning of the journey of discovery.

The day I started this journey was a cold and snowy Monday morning. I had been directed here but was unsure of where I was going. As I started up the hill I saw an old Chief with full headdress and peace pipe appear in spirit form in front of me. He looked at me with recognition as if he knew me, and that I had finally returned. To his left was a warrior on a paint horse holding a shield and lance. The warrior spoke to me and said, “this is a sacred mountain, leave everything as you find it”, to which of course, I agreed. Ahead, on a plateau, while I was looking at Teepee rings and old burn pits, I saw a dark shadowy figure move past me and toward a mountain peak. I followed this figure until I reached the property gate. At this time other spirits appeared and said I was to go back. I turned to them and said, “I haven’t come all this way to be turned back.” I then said, “no, I’m going up on the mountain.” They responded that now was not the right time, and that I had to go back. I turned and started to leave, but then in my mind’s eye I saw them beckoning to me. In defiance I told them that I didn’t want to go now. They then appeared in my path and said, “now it is time.” Looking back, I believe that they wanted to see the strength of my intentions before I could proceed.

At this point, a vision of a domed rock on a peak, surrounded by a circle of rocks appeared to me. I noticed a jeep trail which led to the back of the hill, but I was led up the front as if I had traveled there many times before. I was anxious to get there, half walking and half running, as if I had an appointment with destiny. I arrived breathless and cold at the ring of rocks, as I wasn’t in very good shape at that time. I closed my eyes and held out my hands and said to Spirit, “I ask for your help, I except your help, and I thank you for your help.” When I opened my eyes a circle of spirits were holding hands with me and I found that I could breath again.

A Native American woman then appeared in front of me. She wag wearing a white buckskin dress that was covered with pictures. The pictures on her dress appeared to tell the story of the history of the world. I was stunned with the beauty of her dress. I could not see her face, only a golden glow above her shoulders, and I felt as if I was in the presence of God.

She then waved some feathers over my eyes and said, “I give to you the gift of Three Feathers”. Somehow I managed to swallow, and was barely able to say, “thank you.” Next, a Medicine Man appeared and told me I had to take off my shirt. I told him he had to be crazy. It was snowing outside, and I told him, “it’s cold, I’m sweating, and if I did take off my shirt I could catch pneumonia and die, and then we’d all be able to communicate as equals.” My mind was filled with the word “TRUST”. Without apprehension I removed my shirt and sat cross‑legged in the snow. I was thrilled to find the area around my body warm. While I could still feel the cold on the outside of my aura, my body was strangely warm. I was then told to cross my heart and he welcomed me back to the legion. As I sat there meditating, I became aware of the presence of several ravens surrounding me. I somehow knew that they were telling me that it was now time to go.

Returning along the jeep trail that I saw earlier, I became stuck in a snow drift. I had lost my hat and decided to go back and try to find it, when the Lady in White talked to me again. She told me that I brought a gift to the mountain (the hat), and I take a gift from the mountain. The gift is (like) a nugget of gold. She said that "I should always carry a branch of the tree of life". She also said "you will meet a dark‑haired women who will be the love of your life, and you will have a long and happy life with everything you desire."

It had been an amazing morning, and I needed some time to think about what had occurred. After that day on the mountain, my life changed rapidly. I participated in several different sacred ceremonies and searched for the meaning of the information I had received. I spent the next few months asking every Native American person I came across, “do you know what the gift of Three Feathers is?” None of them seemed to know the answer. During this time I performed healing on many people, but I became burned out with the responsibility I felt about the results. Some of the people I worked on had miraculous recoveries, while others got worse or had no results at all. It was at this point that I returned to the sacred mountain feeling very confused.

When I got to the sacred site, I sat down on a rock. The Lady in White then began to speak to me again, only this time in my head. I told her that I had been through several sweat lodges and ceremonies, spoken with several different medicine men, and asked every one I could think of what the gift of Three Feathers was, but I had not found any answers. She then told me that the gift of Three Feathers represented the energies of the Mother Earth, the Wind, and the Water, and that I could use these energies to better do my magic, or to work with what I called “healing.”

I said that I did not want to be a healer anymore, I was tired of the responsibilities related to healing. There were times when I would ask for healing and they had instant healing. There were other times when they continued to be sick. I wondered what I was doing wrong. She said to me, “what you have is a gift, and what you give is a gift. Your responsibility is to give the gift when it is asked for. It is up to the person receiving the gift to decide what they will do with your gift. They can decide to use it today, tomorrow, or never.” She also said that, “if you give a gift of healing expecting a certain outcome, you are giving the gift with fish hooks, and love with fish hooks can not heal. This is why some medicine men cannot work on their own families.”

After she said these things to me, I felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I now understood my responsibilities, and was able to continue with my healing.

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